Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Randy days ahead!



  1. Speaking of women's soccer, I just heard this on Portland radio the other day:
    “GOOOOOOOD MORNING PORTLAND!!!!!! Say Suzy, are you feelin' kinda Thorny today?"
    "Ooooh! Why yes, Derek, now that you mention it."
    "Well.....Get ready for KBOO Day at the Portland Thorns on the 19th! Women's soccer at its finest! We've got 12 Thorns tickets to give away throughout the day. To get the ball rolling (nyuk, nyuk), the third caller during the next song who can tell us the first name of the Thorns’ team captain will win a free pair of tickets to the Thorns game on Thursday the 19th.”

    “It's the Derek and Suzy Show and weeee’re back! Don’t forget that Thursday, the 19th is KBOO Day at the Thorns! You can join Derek & Suzy - Portland’s craziest DJ’s - with two free (yep, I said FREE!) tickets to the Thorns. Be the first caller during the next song to tell us the team captain’s first or last name and you'll be hanging with us at the Thorns!”

    “Yep! We’re back and remember Thursday the 19th is KBOO Day at the Thorns and we've still got 12 free tickets to give away! Be the first caller to tell us the name of the team - that's all you have to do, just say the PORTLAND THORNS team name - and you will win four free tickets to the Thorns!”

    “OK, we’re back and don’t forget Thursday the 19th is KBOO Day at the PORTLAND Thorns and today we're giving away 12 free tickets! If you’re the first caller who can tell us what city the PORTLAND Thorns are from, we’ll give you four free tickets and a coupon for four free hot dogs and the beverages of your choice at Thursday’s PORTLAND Thorns game. So call right away.”

    “Annnnnnd, we’re back! Don’t miss KBOO Day at the Thorns this Thursday! We’re giving away 12 free tickets today and the first caller during Cap'n Bob's KBOO SkyCam Traffic Update who says this stations call letters - KBOO - will win all 12 free - yep! I said FREE! - tickets in the VIP section, access to the VIP lounge, free parking, a free Thorny mascot bobble head and unlimited free hot dogs and beer.”

    “Well, I guess we’re back. It’s KBOO Day at the Thorns on Thursday the 19th! The next caller will win 12 free tickets in the VIP section, free parking, a free Thorny mascot bobble head and a free steak and lobster dinner in the VIP lounge with two free bottles of wine. You don’t even really have to watch the game, you can just hang out in the lounge. So please call in now!”

    “OK, we’re back and we’ve got a caller! Caller No. 1, you're on the air....”
    “Hello, this is John Watson from All-Star Plumbers…”
    “Congratulations John! You’ve just won 12 free tickets to the Thorns game on…”
    “Actually, I’m calling to give you an estimate on replacing the float valve in the employee break room toilet…”
    “Great! You can pick up your tickets, parking passes and VIP lounge coupons for Thursday’s game at the…”
    “Tickets for what?”
    “Thursday’s Thorns game”
    “What’s a Thorns game?”
    “The Thorns are Portland’s premier women’s soccer team.”
    “Actually, uh, I have to work on Thursday, but I’ll be in on Friday to fix your toilet. Say, you givin' away any Trailblazers tickets?”

    “OK, We're back! Don’t forget, Thursday is KBOO Day at the Thorns and we still have 12 tickets to give away! The first caller who…..”