Hows about a little bit of "government to the rescue?"

Form an exploratory committee to consult various experts on reopening things

Set date to hear recommendations from the exploratory committee

Create a panel of experts to explore the recommendations recommended by the exploratory committee

Build a brand new website to post exploratory committee recommendations for public comment

Discuss feedback from health experts over catered seafood lunch

Wait 4 weeks to see if catered seafood lunch led to any additional COVID infections

Hire commission to gauge the effectiveness of collaboration over catered seafood lunches

Take away all the guns

Announce a 12-phase reopening of the economy, starting with the businesses with the best lobbyists

Begin Phase 1

Form a new committee to review the effectiveness of Phase 1 before moving on to Phase 2

Order more drones from China and post them in front of every hair salon

Draft new legislation to allow voting by show of hands over Facebook live

Announce reopening of all golf courses in close proximity to the statehouse

Hold public hearings on the effectiveness of the implementation of Phase 1

Repeat parts 1-15 until all 12 phases are completed

Form an exploratory committee to research alternate food sources now that catered seafood no longer available

Draft legislation allowing people to eat squirrels and possums

Overturn squirrels and possums legislation after animal rights groups protest

Hire animal rights groups to enforce the overturning of the legislation in order to protect squirrels and possums

Introduce tax bill to fund arming all police officers with harpoon guns and spears

Strengthen the security of governors mansion with sniper towers and tiger pits

...Maybe also a moat around the governor’s mansion

More drones from China, maybe bigger ones

Pass new legislation to fund hiring more enforcers to enforce things

Build checkpoints across the state to distribute milk and guzzoline

Create jobs by hiring welders to install armor plating on police cars

(redacted)

(redacted)

(redacted)

(redacted)

(redacted)

(redacted)

(redacted)(redacted)(redacted)(redacted)(redacted)(redacted)

(Super-secret surprise to be determined later)

Open the rest of the economy

Gladiator games anyone?